So a lot of you are aware that I moved into a house in Tbilisi. There have been good and bad parts to it. One of the things I have learned is just how pervasive sexism is. It’s like a fucking epidemic! Let the story time begin….
My new landlord is an Israeli woman. Apparently, she owns several homes in different countries. She’ll buy them cheaply, fix them up, and rent them out. I can respect that. It’s actually something I considered doing for a while as a way to make a little extra cash.
We were conversing in the yard about future improvements, and related topics when she said something I didn’t expect. She said we should find a woman to live here so she could cook and clean for us. What? She doesn’t do that. She’s a business woman that runs around different countries managing her business. So why would she think…. Moving along….
The maintenance/foreman guy will often bring Georgians through the house to show them what he’d like them to do. It seems they always come when I’m preparing or eating dinner. If I believed in an intelligent universe, I would think it was trying to tell me something…. Anyway, I’ve run into the same sexist attitude on two of these occasions.
One of the guys saw me eating (I’d made a delicious pasta thing, and was eating it out of the pan, because why dirty a plate?), and decided to have a brief conversation with me. He said I should find a woman to cook for me. Then he went on about how they were also good for having sex with. He finished it all off with the thought that he liked to ‘fuck before eat[ing]’, because he got tired after meals.
I was too stunned to do anything except nod, and wave at him as he left the kitchen heading for the yard. However, now that I’ve had some time to prepare, I’d like to challenge these ideas that we’ve managed to (mostly) eliminate in the west. I want to tell these people that it’s possible to get so much more from a good life partner than sex and domestic chores. You can actually speak with them, and maybe even learn something from their ideas. You can have…you know…an actual relationship!
And maybe then, I could move on to the point that it doesn’t have to always be the woman that cooks, cleans, and generally minds the house. I’m no chef, but I’ve made some pretty tasty concoctions in my time. And I actually enjoyed it!
If someone doesn’t like my cooking, that’s a fair point, and they should absolutely make their case. However, bringing women into the argument is like telling me while playing basketball that they have a black friend who I should meet. Is said black person good at basketball? Maybe. Or maybe he trips over the ball when he tries to dribble. And what does he have to do with my ability to play?
Have any of these people even considered that I might actually enjoy preparing my own meals? Or are they too hung up on the notion that men shouldn’t cook; that it’s not their job? Maybe that’s a better approach. Instead of being all triggered, and grilling them about how backward their views are, maybe I should ask them why they feel the need to bring this up in the first place.
Well, this took an unexpected turn….
How about you on the other side of the screen. Yes you, the one who’s reading this article. Have you run into people like the ones I’m describing? Did you try to talk to them, and figure out what’s going on? Did you get all foamy at the mouth and scream at them about how sexist they are?
This has been real talk with Porcupous. Tune in next time for…. Just kidding. I may or may not follow up on this. Either way though, I’d definitely like to hear from you.